Loneliness is gain
Once upon a time a wise men Rumi said: “loneliness is a good place to visit but a bad place to stay.” That person nowadays is quoted by millions of people worldwide. For Rumi loneliness was a ticket to creativity and life. He stated most of the time that loneliness created life, that talent developed in loneliness, that one would find itself within loneliness and that freedom only could be enjoyed in loneliness cause only then could one be itself fully and completely. He also stated that if people could not endure loneliness they could not be good company.
Loneliness is pain
It is confusing to hear so many positive outcomes from a word that is nowadays defined by a negative shadow. While we are living in an era where we are pleased with contacts , our newest apps and our profiles on social media. The word loneliness can only be engaged with losers. Being lonely will not make you live more or create talent. Being lonely will get you a free pass to the shrink whom is paid to listen to your sorrow for maybe a half hour and then cuts off the communication because the next lonely person is waiting for his or her weakly 30 minutes. We feel suffocated when we are lonely not free. What changed? Why did loneliness move in definition from white to black? from good to evil? from gain to pain?
We humans are triggered by every movement during the day. You encounter not only with people at work, school or home but now also at the internet. The internet made it possible to maintain not 2/3 good relationships but a 100 not meaningful relationships. The internet gave us the world just a click away but lost our sense of living. The internet made it easy to make friends but even easier to lose friends. The internet feeds the greed of joy and underlines the importance of having someone to share it with. You need a date? Download your Tinder app. You want to talk about your sick kitten? Go to a forum. You want to make friends? Just make a profile on Facebook and Instagram. We all are busy all day long maintaining all of our contacts in the despair of not being lonely. But does this form of contact satisfy?
If we are out with friends, it does not matter if we are enjoying or not aslong as we have a great picture to share on Facebook. If we have a movienight with friends we miss the movie because of our whatsapp, when we say that we need to talk to a friend we end up talking to others on viber or snapchat while sitting next to a breathing human being. Even though we all are desperately trying to run away from loneliness we actually are the most lonely generation the humankind has ever experienced. Yes we have the world at our feet but we lack the vision to see its miracles, we lack the ambition to experience its adventures, we lack courage to face the obstacles and we lack honesty to reflect our loneliness. We all are lonely but we are not aware. Loneliness is either good or bad depending on what you are looking for. Being occupied by the technology of today and escaping your fear in to the virtual world will not take away the loneliness it will just increase it. Like Gandhi once said: “ To conceal ignorance is to increase it.”
It comes from within..
We may not understand that loneliness is something buried inside of your own perception. We like the idea of fixing things with extra cover-up. If you feel tired, take a red bull or coffee, if you don’t look good, dump some make up on your face, if you are unhappy just go out and act like the happiest person on the planet. It all comes down to one point: ” we are afraid of being vulnerable”. Why is that? When did it become such a shame to just admit that you didn’t feel really good, that you are scared, that you are lonely or that you are unhappy? Since when did it become a burden to carry what we really feel? Happiness comes from within. A lesson i learned in a few years. After having searched for happiness everywhere, just one place was left to search: whitin my own mind and soul. Accepting the way i felt, why i felt it and that sometimes there is no cure for relieving you from that feeling actually did made me unlock a certain code that would eventually lead towards happiness. We humans have all one thing in common , We all want to be happy. Only our ways to that goal differ. But whether you will be happy with less or a lot, you can only find it if you can accept, respect and love yourself the way you are right now. Changes can be made, i am not a pessimist but only if you can get the courage to acknowledge your faults, mistakes and not so attractive parts. I think being realistic is the first step towards an optimistic outcome on how life could turn around.
By Sodaba Abibzay